Tinderella
by God Emperor Penguin
Summary: Jaune goes on a Tinder date.


**Summary: **_Jaune goes on a Tinder date._

**Tinderella**

**RWBY**

* * *

Jaune's sword laid broken. It was a forgotten thing left in the corner of the room, an overt metaphor for the young Arc's devastated masculinity.

"Jaune…" Pyrrha said softly.

The young gladiator of Mistral entered the room, clad only in a towel. Her hair was wet and clung to her sleek and shining skin. Her skin was as smooth as butter. In fact it was so smooth that if one were to touch her they would undoubtedly feel heaven before being mercilessly sent to the depths of hell through decapitation.

"Oh hey, Pyrrha," Jaune said dejectedly on his bed. His eyes were fixated on a picture in his hands of the Schnee heiress during happier times.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," said Jaune as he leaned lower.

Pyrrha took a seat beside him on his bed. Her wet form whose modesty was only protected by a thin red cloth wrapped around her, was mere inches from him.

"I know you. I know when something isn't wrong."

Leaning over towards him, Pyrrha offered Jaune a generous view. Sensually curved and delicately sculpted through rigorous training, her body needed to be stroked and touched. The young woman, whose skin had turned a red hue from the heat, reached a hand towards Jaune's cheek.

"Pyrrha, you're getting my bed wet," Jaune said, waving her off.

"Wh-what? _Oh_! Sorry!"

Pyrrha stood up immediately.

Jaune sighed. "Pyrrha," he said. "Do you ever think I'll find true love?"

"Um… ah… ummm." The girl fumbled with her words.

"I mean, I don't think this whole Weiss thing is working out… and I don't blame her for going for Neptune. I mean, he has the hair, the teeth, the weapon, and the… hair. What was I talking about again?"

"Jaune," Pyrrha said quietly. Her heart was hammering in her chest. Taking a deep breath she continued. "You know… there are… other people who care about you… other people who… l-love you."

"Really?" Jaune asked nonchalantly.

"Y-yes." Pyrrha's face was as red as her hair. "And I think… if you gave these people… this person a chance, then maybe you could be happy. And… maybe I- I mean they! Maybe they can be happy too… or something."

"Pyrrha…" Jaune murmured, looking towards her with a newfound respect. "I had no idea you felt that way."

"Y-yes Jaune." Pyrrha nodded shakily.

"You're right! I _should_ try to see new people!"

The words made Pyrrha's heart skip a beat.

"Yes Jaune! That's an excellent idea!"

"And I know just who to call…"

Pyrrha's hands reached behind her as she began swaying side to side in sweet and delicious anticipation. Her hold on the towel loosened, ready to reveal everything to Jaune at a moment's notice.

"I'm going to try out this new app!"

"Yes Jaune! I will- wait what?"

"Yeah, it's called _Tinder_."

"What?"

"It's called _Tinder_."

"What?"

Jaune began to speak loudly and slowly.

"There's. This. App. Called. _Tinder_. Pyrrha. Do. You. Understand. Me?"

Pyrrha's towel dropped from shock.

"Oh for crying out loud, Pyrrha! Put that back on! Jeez…"

Jaune looked away from the Goddess of Victory, who in her nude shame, felt as defeated as the hare by the tortoise.

* * *

Jaune adjusted his tie and straightened out his best suit.

It was his first date since the _incident_ after all.

He had to impress.

Pyrrha had decided to spend the rest of the night in bed making noises that sound like sobs cursing Jaune's eternal idiocy, denseness, and sheer stupidity, but Jaune waved it off as one of those woman things. The full moon was tonight, after all.

Anyways, Jaune was off to a club somewhere in downtown.

It didn't have a name.

It was just called _The Club_.

That's pretty cool, Jaune thought. It was kind of that like Club you don't talk about where the first rule is don't talk about it and the second is to not talk about it. As Jaune thought back to it, he wondered why his dad insisted on bringing his sisters here. They just ended up sending everyone to the hospital with broken ribs and devastated male pride.

Jaune entered the club.

There was colorful lights and dancing. This is neat, he thought.

Walking around, he began looking for the women he got matched with. The few text messages he shared with her made the woman feel like the one. At least she didn't appear like no darn ice queen.

This girl was fiery and hot.

Like, super hot.

In fact she was so hot that she was hawt.

Her name was Cinder, after all.

"Hey there you pineapple cutie," said a sultry voice behind him.

There she was, the Goddess of Hawt, Cinder Fall.

"O-oh, h-hi."

"Mmhmm…"

"So… uh…"

"Dance?"

"Dance."

And so they danced and drank and had a jolly merry good time. Jaune himself got extremely intoxicated off orange juice and began stumbling back to his dorm in the dark of the night. Cinder had Jaune's arm over her shoulder, as he slurred the directions back to his room.

"R-riiight here missy missy," Jaune said with a hic.

"Well, here you are. I had a fantastic time tonight. This unplanned fun was much more entertaining than my masterwork schemes that no one knows about. Well, I don't know them myself, but _they_ don't know that so…"

"S'cool," Jaune slurred. "You know… you're really hot."

Cinder blushed. "W-why thank you."

"Like so hot that you're hawwwwwwwt."

"I… I-"

"Wanna come inside?" Jaune said with a hic.

"S-sure," said Cinder.

This was the first time she had ever been alone with a man. Emerald had suggested Cinder try a bit of unrestrained amusement via this mobile application called Tinder. Regardless, she never expected to find such a charming, young man.

Cinder's heart fluttered.

Was this love?

"Please, after you miiiilady," Jaune managed as he opened the door.

"Thank yo-"

_Bang!_

Cinder's head exploded. Her headless corpse dropped to the floor with a thud.

"Wh-what the-?"

"Jaaaaunee…."

"P-Pyrrha?"

"Come to meee…"

The last thing Jaune saw was the pitch darkness of the bottom of a barrel, a flash of red, and a teary smiling Pyrrha before his eyes.

* * *

_Tinderella Fin_

**Editor's Notes: **_What is life?_


End file.
